MS and cognitive issues

My most hated symptom BY FAR is cognitive issues. My short term memory is pathetic. It is very hard to make decisions and process information. It's like my brain is in slow motion. Problem solving is a real trial. Being in a crowd with lots of things going on around me is chaos to the extreme. Concentration is poor. The list goes on and on.

I used to be a fast typist. Really fast. Now I am so slow it's frustrating. It's like going from super high speed internet to dial up ... or worse. I can use that same analogy for my slow-motion brain too. Dial up speed.

I also have issues with spelling. I used to be an "A Student" when it came to spelling. Now I mess up the simplest of words. I usually, eventually, catch the mistakes but it takes a while sometimes of staring at the word and thinking "now that's just not right" ... and sometimes it's so obviously wrong that I just have to laugh at myself.

Example: I just spelled "speed" "sepped". At least it has the same letters. Often times half or all of the letters are not even supposed to be in the word I am trying to spell.

If anyone reads this and has suggestions on how I can help my cognitive issues, please share. I have been making schedules to help keep me on track, but the problem is I often do not feel good enough to follow the schedule so it's all in vain anyway. I take lots of notes but forget where I put them. I rely on my cell phone calendar a lot. This is the only consistent thing that seems to help.

MS Journal Entry 08-24-13

This was the worst day yet. Just sayin.

Barely made it to 9:30 before having to go back to bed. Quite pathetic. I can understand why depression is an MS symptom. It's so hard to stay positive when one is so dysfunctional. But, I am not depressed. I am not even going to go there. I am just doing my best to learn all I can while I am here. Mostly learning about how to be patient with myself and others.

I think I know what elderly people do all day long.

I used to wonder how an elderly person could handle being home all day long alone. I assumed they would get bored or tired of sitting around. But I have been thinking these last few days and I might understand it all now. I may not be elderly yet but I sure feel like it; or at least I assume I feel like it. It takes me at least 5 times longer to do any normal household task than it used to prior to MS. Maybe even 10 times longer or more. What used to take me a half hour or so now takes all morning. It's pathetic.

Laundry for instance. One pair of jeans is all I can handle at a time. Lift it up out of the clean basket, fold it, put it in a pile, and then take a short break before I do another one. It's like I am in slow motion and then I end up breathing heavy. Really. For one pair of jeans.

MS Journal Entry 08-13-13

Still going ... nothing outlasts the energizer ... wait. Never mind. That was just the first thing that came to my head when I started this post but in a very opposite sort of way. I wish I had as much 'energy' as that silly pink bunny of yesteryear. Maybe he's still going but I sure am not. I guess he really did outlast me.

Nothing much new to report - my flare is 'still going'. I do feel a little better on most days recently than I did when this flare started, but I am no where close to being 'normal' or at baseline. Or maybe I am and my baseline has changed? I don't know. It's all a guess I guess.

Hopefully I'll have something fresh to put on here soon; thankfully no one is really reading this yet anyway ;)

MS Lassitude Fatigue

Anyone with MS deals with others who think they know what is going on and try to relate. These people mean well but it can be a real struggle for the one with MS. When it comes to MS fatigue, comments like "I get really tired too" can be discouraging. The other day I read a blog post about fatigue and it made me think of doing a poem of sorts about the differences of 'being tired' vs MS fatigue. I'll have to save that for another day. Today however I would like to share the National MS Society's definition of lassitude fatigue. This is different from what I might call 'secondary fatigue' which would be fatigue brought on for a reason (like maybe your legs are hurting really bad during the night and you are unable to get sleep; as a result you are fatigued the next day).

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Lassitude fatigue:

• Generally occurs on a daily basis
• May occur early in the morning, even after a restful night’s sleep
• Tends to worsen as the day progresses
• Tends to be aggravated by heat and humidity
• Comes on easily and suddenly
• Is generally more severe than normal fatigue
• Is more likely to interfere with daily responsibilities

MS-related fatigue does not appear to be directly correlated with either depression or the degree of physical impairment.

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Some days I may start off pretty good but then all the sudden my body starts buzzing or vibrating inside and I know fatigue will hit within the half hour or so and hit HARD.  Like thousands of pounds of bricks are attached to my body and I am sinking into the floor. I recently heard a man describe it like this. Everyone experiences 'fatigue' whether they have MS or not. Someone without MS will relate your MS fatigue to the fatigue THEY have but that is like comparing an atomic bomb with a firecracker. Yeah, they both explode, however there is a huge difference in the impact.

I'll return some day soon with a little poem.

MS Journal Entry: 08-01-13

This is my second journal entry - for the first one please click on the 'Journal Entry' label below.

Well, I THOUGHT things were calming down a little two days ago however it came back with full force yesterday and now worse today. It's a challenge to type and think right now so I will keep this brief. About 5 days or so ago things started getting a LITTLE bit better. I could use my right side better and was not limping so badly. My mind was clearer as well. All of the symptoms were seemingly on the way back to some sort of tolerable level and really good two days ago ... until yesterday that is when all day I felt like I had been hit by a bus and survived. Aching all over and so tired (MS FATIGUE!!! It really is more than just being 'tired') I was hardly able to put one foot in front of the other. Now here today the right side is worse than ever, thinking is very slow, spelling off, speech slurring, etc.

I notice I tend to pick things up with my left hand instead of my right. It is too weak to hold anything for longer than a few seconds. Yesterday for example it was hard to carry a large (empty) stock pot. I had plans for yesterday to get some delayed work done in the kitchen however my plans were unrealistic. And that is what I am still trying to learn: what can I do and what can I not do? Sometimes I learn the hard way.

That's all for now.