Well, here I am again. Yes, I'm still here. MS is progressing (that sounds positive but really it's not). I had a revelation recently ... sometimes I think I'm not doing as bad but then I realize that really I'm getting worse but just MANAGING MY SYMPTOMS better. Yes, it makes a huge difference.
I am still not officially diagnosed. Still thinking about seeing the Neurologist again. Still wondering if it's PPMS or PRMS. Or maybe it's SPMS. I don't know. It just seems too bad to be RRMS. But, why do I even wonder?
My activities are small and well thought out. If I have a big day of shopping in the city (an hour away) I must have someone with me to drive and do most of the thinking. I get worn out too quickly and within an hour or two I am pretty much useless but still have to keep going. I hold on to the cart while someone else pushes but now I'm going to use the electric scooter cart thing. I try to avoid shopping altogether, then I don't have to worry about how I'm going to manage to get it done. I send someone else. How did I ever use to do these things? I could go ALL DAY LONG without a break, get everything done and still have energy for making supper, cleaning up, getting ready for bed, getting ready for the next day, etc.
I try to avoid driving for two reasons: usually I'm just too exhausted to drive or my right side is not working properly, but sometimes my mind is not working right ... I switch things up, confuse things, see things that are not there or don't see things that are there or see things that are there but do not see them as they really are.
I should use a cane almost all of the time but I do not. That is probably wearing me out more than necessary.
I have to take a lot of breaks throughout the day just to get what little I can done. I go slow, take breaks and take a nap or two. This is the only way I can get some cleaning done, meals made and some chores done. Even then I usually have to have help.
Each day is a blessing. A new day to try again. To learn more patience and love (for myself and others).
I try to spend time visiting the elderly. They have it so much worse than I do. It's always a win-win situation. We bless and encourage each other.
That's all for now.
