What brings joy ...

What used to bring joy into my life was hiking, running on trails, camping, and all sorts of fun, active things outdoors. And yoga. I was really good at it. Really good. When I first started having issues I was so devastated that I could no longer go hiking! No more long walks either. However I gradually learned how to find new things that brought me joy. Well, an old thing was bird watching, however that went along with hiking. Now I just watch birds in my back yard. I have lots of feeders, a few bird baths, flowers, bushes, trees - a nice place for birds to be. I put my chair in view of the best places, bring my camera along if I remember, and see how many varieties of birds I can spot. I love it. As for yoga - I just do a very light, super adapted version of some basic poses each morning for about 5 minutes.

Tufted Titmouse

Another old favorite was gardening. We used to have a very large garden every year, and I was an active participant. Now however I just have a small garden. I no longer help get it ready - my adult children do all of the hard work (tilling, making rows, planting). All I do is start some plants inside my house, and then I spend about 20 minutes each day [if I am able] alternating between weeding and watering. If I fall behind, someone catches me up. I have things set up to make it even easier. Like a very nice hose and hose cart right next to the garden. The hose cart has a storage shelf on the bottom, and that is where I put my little folding bench that I sit on to weed, as well as a few small hand tools and hose spray attachments.

My point. We must find ways to enjoy life still! As long as we are alive, we can find joy if we want to.

Changes.

When I first started having problems, I was so used to being fit and capable that it was really hard for me to manage "the new me." However, over time as the symptoms progressed I naturally adapted. Because I am hoping to see a neurologist soon, I've been paying attention to how I manage things with the hopes of better explaining my life to him/her. Little things that I didn't even realize I was doing have been coming to my attention. Here are a few examples.

I have a lot of problems with balance. I used to be a pro in the kitchen (literally), however MS has stopped that. As things have been progressing, my duties in the kitchen have become less and less. When I am in the kitchen, however, I recently noticed that I lean against the counters for support. If I need to bend over to get something out of a lower cabinet, I hold on to the counter while bending. When I'm at the stove, I hold on to the over door handle. I never stand or walk unassisted. When did I start doing this? No clue. But that's what I do all the time without thinking. 

I have a big problem walking down stairs or walking on uneven surfaces. Recently I noticed how I walk down the stairs: I hold on for dear life and spend all of my brain energy making sure my feet and legs are doing what they should be doing. This attention was definitely heightened when I sprained my ankle because of these issues. I no longer carry anything down the stairs, but am comfortable enough carrying some things up the stairs.

For the uneven surfaces, like say walking to the pasture or barn, I use a walking stick. This helps tremendously.

My right side is very weak. I noticed I lift up my right thigh to clear my right foot (so it does not drag on the ground and cause me to trip). This gets worse and worse as the day goes on, which causes my left side to start hurting from the extra weight. This is amplified even more when I sprained my left ankle. It sure would have been convenient if it were my right ankle (the bad side) instead of the left (the good side)!! This has prolonged the healing of the sprain. 6 months after the fact and it's still in pain and often visibly swollen.

Along with my right side weakness - I've noticed that when going up the stairs I do this "step, clunk, step, clunk, step, clunk" thing. I automatically put as little weight as possible on the right leg and then kind of hop up as quick as I can on to my left (that's where the "clunk" comes in). At the same time, I use my hands on either side to help pull me up.

There are other things too, but that's all I have time for today.